Mental Health Challenges for Children Who Have Lost an Active-Duty Parent in the Military

The loss of a parent is a traumatic event for any child, but when that parent is an active-duty member of the military, navigating the grief and the lasting mental health difficulties can be even more complex and challenging. This article explores the mental health challenges faced by these children and highlights ways in which community members can support them.

The Impact of Having a Deployed Military Parent on Children

Even when a military parent is alive and well, their deployment can have significant mental health impacts on their children. The unique and acute uncertainties that come with military service — including deployments, relocations, and the inherent dangers of combat — create added layers of stress and worry for kids. Prolonged parental absence due to deployment can lead to increased anxiety, stress, and feelings of insecurity. Children may experience behavioral changes due to the emotional strain, including: 

• Clinginess

• Aggression

• Social withdrawal

• Difficulty with or disinterest in school and academic performance 

All of this makes it essential for families and communities to provide robust emotional support to military children during these challenging times.

The Impact of Parental Loss on Military Children

When a parent is killed in the line of duty, children have an even heavier emotional burden to bear because the circumstances of the parent’s death can be sudden, violent, and traumatic in nature. This results in a particular response called traumatic grief, which can result in an array of mental health challenges and disorders. These in turn can impede a child’s cognitive and emotional development, creating major roadblocks to their personal success as adolescents and adults.

Traumatic Grief: Understanding the Basics

Traumatic grief occurs when a child experiences the loss of a loved one in a manner that is sudden, violent, or otherwise distressing. This type of grief is characterized by intense sorrow coupled with symptoms of trauma, making it difficult for the child to navigate the mourning process. 

Symptoms of Traumatic Grief in Children

Traumatic grief symptoms in children can include:

• Intrusive thoughts. Children may have recurring, distressing memories or dreams about the deceased parent.

• Avoidance. They might avoid reminders of the parent or the circumstances of their death.

• Hyperarousal. Increased irritability, trouble sleeping, and difficulty concentrating are common.

• Emotional numbness. Some children might become emotionally detached or numb as a coping mechanism.

Mental Health Disorders Associated With Traumatic Grief

Trauma disorders in children following the loss of a parent can include the following:

• Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Many children who experience traumatic grief also exhibit symptoms of PTSD, including flashbacks, severe anxiety, and emotional distress when reminded of the trauma.

• Depressive disorders. The overwhelming sadness from the loss can develop into clinical depression, characterized by persistent feelings of hopelessness and a lack of interest in previously enjoyed activities.

• Anxiety disorders. The uncertainty and fear stemming from the loss can lead to generalized anxiety disorder, characterized by excessive worry about future events and the safety of loved ones.

• Other socioemotional disorders. Some children develop decreased emotional attachment to caregivers and other people as well as decreased emotional responses in situations where they are warranted or normal in other children. This is called reactive attachment disorder. Others are overly eager to form attachments with others, including strangers. This is known as disinhibited social engagement disorder.

Developmental Impacts

Naturally, trauma-related mental health disorders can have profound negative impacts on a child’s ability to grow into a successful and well-adjusted adult. These include but are not limited to:

• Academic challenges. The instability caused by frequent relocations and the emotional toll of losing a parent can negatively impact a child's academic performance. These children may struggle to keep up with their studies, leading to lower grades and reduced educational attainment.

• Social isolation. Military children often face social isolation due to their unique experiences and frequent moves. The loss of a parent can further isolate them from peers who cannot relate to their experiences, making it difficult to form and maintain friendships.

Ways to Support Bereaved Military Children

Emotional and Social Support

Surviving parents and caregivers, health care providers, school administrators, and other caregiving individuals can offer support to bereaved military children by facilitating the following:

• Trauma-informed counseling and therapy. Providing access to trauma-informed professional counseling and therapy can help children process their grief and develop healthy coping mechanisms. Many organizations offer resources and support tailored to the needs of military families.

• Peer support groups. Facilitating peer support groups can help children connect with others who have experienced similar losses. These groups provide a safe space for sharing feelings and finding mutual support.

Community Engagement

Nonprofit organizations and community members can also support traumatized military children through:

• Awareness and advocacy. Raising awareness about the unique challenges faced by military children can foster greater community support and understanding. Advocacy efforts can lead to improved resources and policies that benefit these families.

• Volunteerism and mentorship. Community members can volunteer their time to support military families through mentorship and other programs, helping children build resilience and develop strong, positive relationships with adult role models.

Educational Support

Schools, tutoring and educational organizations, nonprofits, and volunteers can help children achieve academic success by offering:

• Tutoring and academic assistance. Offering tutoring and other forms of academic support can help children keep up with their learning benchmarks and regain their confidence in attending and succeeding in school. Programs designed specifically for military children can address their unique educational challenges.

• Scholarships and financial aid. Providing college scholarships, grants, and equitable forms of financial aid is a crucial way to support military children. Scholarships not only alleviate financial burdens but also honor the sacrifices made by bereaved children's service member parents, paving the way for their future success as adults. Numerous nonprofit organizations and foundations offer scholarships specifically for the children of fallen service members.

Anyone interested in supporting the bereaved children of fallen American heroes can accomplish this by volunteering with, raising awareness about, and donating to organizations that work in service of these children. This is especially important given that no child has a choice in the sacrifices their parents have been willing to make, yet many bear the costs for years to come. You can thank and honor members of our armed forces for their service by lending your time or financial support to young Americans who need it most.

Support Children of Deceased Military Members With MC-LEF

Since its creation in 1995, the Marine Corps-Law Enforcement Foundation (MC-LEF) has offered educational funding to the children of fallen military service members. Thanks to our generous donors, MC-LEF currently establishes a $35,000 educational account for every child who loses a parent serving on active duty as a Federal Law Enforcement Agent, in the United States Marine Corps, or as a Navy Corpsman. To date, MC-LEF has awarded over $9 million in educational accounts and other humanitarian assistance to over 5,900 recipients. Contact us to learn more.

All MC-LEF officers and board members are volunteers; we have only one paid employee. We pride ourselves on running our organization as cost-effectively as possible so that the vast majority of our donor funds can be used to accomplish our mission of educating the children of those who sacrificed all. Please consider donating today!